Tanushree Dutta’s Loses First Battle – Who is Right and Who is Wrong?
Fault in our culture is more evident than ever before. Before you jump on to any conclusions, let me please make it clear that this blog is not about any culture in specific but about practices that we have begun to see as a culture while they are personal preferences or must I say faults?
Let’s dwell in this particular case. Tanushree Dutta in the wrong or Nana Patekar being guilty – whatever may come out after they have battled it out on every ground possible. Sexual harassment is a monster that has always been behind the bushes. Some have seen its most horrendous face and some have heard its deafening roar, nonetheless, no one can deny its existence.
The irony of this particular story is that the very case that brought the #MeToo wave to India is now being seen as a hoax by some. Who is right in the case is an important question but what’s equally important to know is that why does it happen?
A woman accusing someone of sexual harassment is always seen as the culprit who lured the man with her clothes or behaviour to tarnish her dignity. How absurd is this belief? And, believing that it is the man who is always in the wrong, how biased is that? The one thing that we need for real is a balance.
We all have heard about cases where a woman has been assaulted by some vagabond and later asked to marry the same guy as that was their solution to save the dignity of that woman. Believe me, such nuisance is not restricted to only India, it happens in many cultures outside India too. And a man being bullied by a woman in the name of women’s right is also a dire reality. It happens in every corner of the world. Yes, there are men who are being harassed by women because the law is in their stride.
While I can bet that there isn’t even a single woman in the world who hasn’t been stared at, who hasn’t been touched inappropriately, who hasn’t felt the heat, the frustration and the depression that it brings along. There are men who have lost everything they owned because a woman robbed them under dowry law or something of the same sort.
And yet there is a disparity. It won’t be wrong to say that every second person in the world is a woman and yet we struggle with gender disparity. Women are always treated as a second class citizen in their own house. A man is always to be the head of the family and the decision maker. Education has not made much of a difference to even those who come from a liberal background.
On top of all this is our politicians making a mockery of sanity. Free public transport travel for women so that they feel secure travelling? It probably sounds noble to some but to me, it sounds like bull crap. The real problem is way deeper than it seems. It is ingrained in the beliefs of people that women are an inferior race. If someone is really interested in making a difference then they would have to start from the ground level. Have they ever wondered about finding the root cause for why men think they have the right to wink at a woman walking down the road, why they can just touch anyone, why a woman has to comply by their demands? Everyone is after a quick fix. They want limelight but not really a solution that’s why laws have made it so easy for anyone to manipulate the system.
The key is education. Men and women have to be taught the real meaning of rights, equality, emancipation, and humanity. Laws have to be stronger. Why there are such loopholes in the law for women that they have started to take advantage of the same. The #MenToo campaign is clear evidence of what women can do if they want to take undue advantage of a system. If it is hard for a woman to prove that she has been made uncomfortable sexually, it is harder for a man to prove that he didn’t really cross his limits. So, where does it stop? It stops when we start teaching our kids since childhood the distinction between the right and the wrong.
If you assume that sending your kid to a school where you are paying an insane amount of money as fees would turn your child into a civil human being then you are sadly wrong. A child’s real education starts at home, he becomes what he sees. So, how you treat men and women in your family is a child’s first lesson in understanding the importance of gender in society.
Women need to start treating themselves as weak and men need to start treating women with respect and dignity.
The sexual assault and harassment can probably not be eradicated but we can certainly disseminate the right awareness about what it does to the person who becomes its victim. It will take time but it has to start somewhere. The government, the mothers at home, the brothers who go out there looking for preys and sisters who hide it from family, they all need to start looking at the situation with a solution mindset to really bring a change in the society that is gradually turning into a system that would soon start stinking.