My gender doesn’t define me!


There is a lot of chatter about feminist, chauvinism, misogyny, gender equality, and women’s rights. Women make half of our world, and yet, they don’t enjoy even half of the perks that men do but why? Is gender equality a hoax?

What would you say a woman is all about? Is she just a mother, a sister, a wife, a homemaker, or a doctor, a scientist, or an engineer? Some of them are the roles she plays in the family and some are the professions she excels in but what is the definition of a woman? Is it her relationship with you or the profession she is in that defines her?

We have become a society that has put women on a pedestal from where we are not letting them deboard. She is either this beautiful figure that one can lust about or a goddess that must be worshiped. Anythingbetween the two is unacceptable and almost deplorable.

If we see a woman riding an autorickshaw, we rub our eyes twice to ensure we saw what we saw, if we see her driving a car, we doubt her driving skills, and if we see her flying a plane, we roll our eyes in disbelief. If she is a teacher, we say what else would suit a woman better, if we see her being a scientist, we ask her if her kids get enough time, if we see her being a kickass engineer, we assume her husband is unhappy and if we see her being a doctor, we assume she can’t be anything but a gynecologist. Is this how we define gender equality?

Now, I won’t ask why we are a society that is so prejudice or stereotypical. I won’t even ask if we want to change or not. But I will say that people are not their gender, my gender doesn’t define me.

Needless to say, that women have been fighting for their rights since the beginning of civilization and they are still treated as second-class citizens in their own house.

There isn’t going to be any respite in the situation that women are in any soon but that doesn’t mean we cannot start from this very moment to drive that change.

Women rights

Having said that, I don’t think that a change will start with women braving to go out of the house after certain hours or by mothers telling their sons to behave. A change will start with women deciding to see themselves as humans with equal rights.

Whenever a girl reaches a certain age, her sisters or mother start telling her that all she needs is a man with money, education or values do not matter. If money was really a guarantee for happiness, we would not have been seeing such a high rate of divorce among rich couples. I believe women are responsible for the way they are treated. Women do not believe in equal rights, or that they deserve to be treated with respect.

Every time a woman does something unconventional, she is seen as a contagious virus ready to infect and incite other women to do the same. They are suddenly disowned and society starts smirking their every move.

If a woman wants to live in a nuclear family, she is a house breaker who is taking a son away from his parents, if a woman wants to work in a profession where she is expected to put in extra hours, she is a careless wife, if a woman decides to go out with friends and her husband is not a part of that plan, she isn’t a woman that one can respect, and if she has male friends even after marriage then she is a lady of a bad character.

We are basically a society that blames women for everything. We blame women for divorces, for when their children do not behave, when their kids fail in school, when their in-laws are dissatisfied, when their parents are ill, when a man commits a crime, or when a family goes through a bad time. In fact, it is the woman who is to be blamed even when she gets raped. If women play such pivotal roles in our society then why are we still struggling for gender equality?

A change won’t start just by families telling their sons that they are supposed to respect everyone and that a girl’s clothes or body parts are not the reason why they feel sexually aroused. It will start when women start seeing themselves as worthy of respect and rights. We will see an improvement in our situation only when women stop making life hell for other women, when they don’t succumb to the pressure, when they do not surrender their lives to others and when they start seeing themselves as humans.

The bottom line is that a person is not what their gender is. Being a man doesn’t make me superior and being a woman doesn’t make me inferior. I am what I do, what I believe in and how I approach life. I am what my education teaches me and what my values make me.

This is just food for thought, your ideas are welcome 😊

Bhavika Batra

The girl next door, exploring life and always on an adventure. Care to share your experience? If yes, let's get together to resolve this enigma called LIFE!